When We're in the Fog: On Perspective, and Why We Sometimes Can't See It

A few days ago, I stopped to take in a view that reminded me of many conversations I've had in the therapy room. Ahead of me stretched the sea, then a band of thick fog, and beyond it, green meadows bathed in sunlight. I was standing at a point where I could see it all — the quiet expanse of water, the impenetrable grey of the fog, and the light waiting on the other side of it. And I thought: this is a fitting image for what it's like to experience distress.

When we're in the fog, all we see is grey

When we find ourselves in personal distress, loss, anxiety, or inner conflict, it's like stepping straight into fog. Suddenly we lose the wider view — we can no longer look back at the past experiences that once strengthened us, nor forward, toward the possibilities still ahead of us.

All we see is grey, blurred, heavy. Many clients tell me that, in distress, it feels as if nothing good ever existed, and as if nothing good will ever come again. A sense of being trapped floods both mind and body. In those moments, we often forget that we've already been through hard things before — that we've overcome obstacles, picked ourselves back up, and known how to ask for help.

Perspective isn't a mood — it's an inner space

Perspective doesn't mean thinking positively or ignoring reality. It means being able to see more than just the feeling of the moment. It means being able to recognize, even in the midst of present pain, that this state is temporary. Knowing that "on the other side of the fog" there's something else too — a new possibility, recovery, connection, light.

When we're in the middle of the fog, we often need another person to remind us that there's more out there. That our view hasn't narrowed forever. This is where therapy can help — not because the therapist has all the answers, but because they walk that path together with you, helping you look for the light on the horizon, even when you can't see it on your own.

The therapeutic relationship as a vantage point

In therapy, we often work together to spot what's keeping that fog in place — old thought patterns, emotional reactions, that inner critical voice. Alongside this, we slowly build the ability to pause, take a breath, and look at things differently.

Sometimes a client can't yet believe, on their own, that anything can change. But over time — through small questions, through exploration, through space to simply feel — the fog begins to thin. And sometimes a moment comes when, for the first time in a long while, they sense something more: a feeling of connection, of peace, of meaning.

When you're in the fog, it's enough to take one step forward

If you're in the fog right now — in a period when everything seems grey and without perspective — know that this is a deeply human, common experience. It's important to know: fog doesn't mean the world isn't there. You just can't see it right now. And that's exactly why it's valuable to find a safe space alongside you, where you can explore what's blocking your view — and what might bring clarity back again.

Maybe today you can't yet see the meadow on the other side. But step by step, it's possible to get there.